Why Are Our Children Violent Against Each Other?
Why is it that week after week we see news stories highlighting acts of violence by young people against young people? Not too long ago we were saddened by the unnecessary death of a young man in Chicago who was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. Now the story is about a gang rape of a young lady attending her school Homecoming Dance. When is enough, enough?
When I was a student I had one simple household rule to live by, “get in trouble at school and get the punishment two fold when you get home”. Today, when a student breaks the rules parents often say, “I know my child did something wrong, but . . .”
My friends, it’s time to throw “but” out the door! When a child, of any age, leaves home for school the parents’ responsibility does not end. Our schools have been established to educate and provide our children with the tools they need to succeed, not be the full time parent when the students walk through the door.
When a student is beaten to death with a board as others video the crime, something’s wrong! When a young lady is raped by 4 thugs while as many as 20 others watch, something’s wrong! When students are bringing guns, drugs and knives to school, something’s wrong!
What’s wrong? Many will say “it’s today’s way of life”. Many will say “there’s nothing we can do”. Many will say “it’s not my kid so who cares”. To me, none of these comments are acceptable. Parents need to be the responsible party. Parents need to show their children the respect and discipline we knew as students not too many years ago. Parents need to be parents! Parents need to be engaged!
We live in a less than perfect world. Like many of you I have four children, two older and two younger. Being a parent is a full time 24/7 adventure; but what we’re seeing today in so many places is going to lead to much greater problems… for all of our families. PTA is here to help secure a safe and healthy life for all children, but we can’t do it all; we need parents to get engaged.
For more information on how you can get involved in keeping our schools safe, visit
http://www.pta.org/topic_school_violence.asp
Until next time,
Chuck Saylors, National PTA President
posted by Chuck Saylors at
11/02/2009 04:41:00 PM
6 Comments:
Mr. Saylors:
Keep the dregs out of school and school scores will rise exponentially. Keep disruptive youths out of school and not only do you get rid of their bad scores, but the scores of other kids will rise because the teaching process will not be constantly interrupted.
The schools need to be tougher on the kids and not get into the blame-game with parents. Undoubtedly, it's usually the parents' fault. But it doesn't matter who is to blame. There should be a zero tolerance policy for gangs, weapons, drugs and threatening teachers. There should be a three-strike policy for being disrespectful, wearing pants below the hips and cursing. Kids that are disruptive, violent or who use school as a place to deal drugs or recruit for their gangs should NOT be in school. They have broken the social compact and we no longer owe them anything.
Some do-gooder will probably ask what will become of these kids if they're not in school. Well, the answer is probably nothing good. BUT SCHOOLS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE PLACES WHERE KIDS CAN GO TO LEARN WITHOUT BEING FEARFUL. That is job one and in many cases schools have utterly failed. I urge teachers and school administrators to be educators to their best abilities and to stop trying to be social workers.
Yes, there will be problems to be dealt with down the road, but it is NOT within our schools' purview to worry about those problems. Our schools' only job is to educate our children.
Jim C.
South San Francisco, CA
Kindly fix the typo in your first paragraph. It should be "school's", not "schools".
You have chosen to be part of the education community by your participation in PTA. Please set a good example for the children by proofreading your work prior to submission.
@Anonymous... Hello? Did you at least get the sentiment of what was written? Are you here to proofread or do you have an opinion? I am a stay-at-home Mom and have been VERY active in PTA for the last 15 years. I have been involved in the unit and council levels and I have met many intelligent well-spoken people who may not have the best grammar, but who are responsible for great things! Oh my goodness, Jim C's post just made an eloquent plea for all of us to try to make our schools a safer place so that our children can learn and all you got out of it was that he misplaced an apostrophe... You really are part of the problem!!
Having said that, I liked Chuck's BLOG. In my own school, I have heard of students not only witnessing fights, but videoing them so that they can post it on their "social" network. All the while, other students stood around and watched... Where does such violence and apathy come from?
We live in a different world than when we were children. We live in a world where there is no "village" to watch our children. We live in a world where children are allowed to raise themselves and when given the alternative of reading a book or watching a violent TV show, the latter is chosen. We live in a world where children mimic the gangs and the gang behavior that they are exposed to on TV and in video games. We live in a world where parents are afraid to let their kids play outside for fear of violence and kidnapping. We live in a world where children are fat because there are no after school activities for children to participate in and the food that is available to them in school or at home is high in fat and low in nutrients. We live in a world where dress codes are seen as restrictive to one's expression, but children are not taught appropriate dress for appropriate occasions. We live in a world where teaching character has been eliminated in the schools as parents have complained that it is the job of the parents to teach character. So, children are learning character from TV.
I could go on and on, but the bottom line is that changes NEED to be made. If parents choose to have children, they should make children their priority. They should work with the school and PTA to make sure that our children are being educated and not just allowed to raise themselves. The government needs to make children and education a priority. They are truly the "future" and if that isn't embraced, we're looking at a bleak future! And lastly, schools shouldn't be afraid of change. They should work with families and the community to fully educate our children. They should be less concerned about their union negotiations over hours and days worked etc and more concerned with the type of people they're developing.
So, anonyous, I'm sure there are gramatical errors in my "comment" and if you feel so inclined, point them out, but I think this is more a forum of ideas and not one of grammar...
@ Pat M: My comment wasn't directed at Jim's post, which I thought was very good. It was directed at Chuck. As head of the PTA, he should set an example for children, parents and teachers by checking his work before posting it.
I was trying to be helpful, as I'm sure it would be an embarrassment to him and he would like as few people as possible to see the typo. I thought my request was respectful; if it didn't come across as such, I apologize.
BTW, I liked your POV too. But next time, please be more careful about attacking someone. Thanks.
@Anonymous: I'm sorry for the error. The second line should have given me a clue, but I thought in writing on this type of "Board", Jim C was representing himself as the part of the "education community by your participation in PTA" you were writing about. I've been on these types of "Boards" many times and they often get sidetracked by detours into grammar etc... I think people should come with a POV and discuss it so that real discovery/learning can occur...
Again, sorry!
Pat
I really believe the problem has to do with class, race, gender, etc. I think all schools should convert to uniforms so everyone could at least appear to be equals. In todays tough times many parents are not able or willing to teach their kids, because they are to busy doing other things or trying to be their kids best friend instead of parent.
The fact that teachers are also buying into this horrible Pop Culture trend, is even more disturbing.
As far as the error, WHO CARES! This is also another problem, we are so focused on the minor issues; making them mountains, that we forget about the point of the discussion. I talk to my children, I am very active at school, actually just finished a fundraiser with music cds using The Power of Good Network Inc., http://www.powerofgoodnetwork.com and raised $750 for the Band in 1 weekend, however I know all parents can not do that. I have a neighbor that can not pay the bills, so how can I expect them to help at the school? Also believe me this also affect their children.
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